Will The Real Men Please Stand Up!

My grandmother once told me that a man is as only good as he is trained. My grandmother was absolutely right. However, I can take it a step further and say that a man is only as good as he is trained, but he must be trained until he can’t be trained no more. What that simply means that a man’s trainning doesn’t end when he becomes an adult and leaves the nest. His training continues when he enters a relationship that is healthy. I have come to the conclusion that most men are socially and developmentally delayed. When a young woman is reared, she receives the lessons quickly from birth to 18 years of age. She must maintain and actively puts those lessons to use until death (or at least some try to). I was listening to the radio this morning during the station’s relationship segment. The host dropped a statistic which didn’t surprise me, 75% of black women are single and there are 11,000 women to 1 man world wide. Great statistics if you are a guy looking for a wife, girlfriend or jump-off. Men that are aware of these statistics can either take advantage of it in a negative or positive way.

However, I believe that women who are having problems, issues or gripes about finding “trained” men crosses the racial and ethnic lines. I’m hearing complaints from white, Asian, Hispanic and African women who are tired of their lazy ass husbands or boyfriends that do nothing but drink drug and hoe around with other women. Now I’m only paraphrasing and repeating what I heard! And in unison they all say “What is the problem with these men of today? Well let me provide an answer based on experience. As men seem to be reverting back to a Neanderthal way of thinking (Now understand that men where put here to only help reproduce. It is only by nurture that they choose to marry or be monogamous. We are talking science here) women are evolving. Women are becoming more educated, career orientated, climbing the corporate ladder and bringing in bank. It was only a mere 40 years ago when the only careers women were allowed to do are secretarial, nurse, stewardess, teacher or mother. Although, some women are still in those career fields (and let me say that women have moved from being stewardess to Flight Attendants!) they are now battling amongst the men just as hard or harder.

With this evolution it seems that men can’t keep up. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many men out here that can keep up and also appreciates a hard working woman. But most of those men are gay! Most heterosexual men that have small penis issues are intimidated by a woman’s intelligence, career and bank roll. These men compensate by having extra martial affairs or just being plain stupid. However, there are some women who do use their “power” to intimidate men or make men feel useless. The worse thing a woman can do is not let her man be A MAN. Yes, did you only think I was only going to side for the women? I see things full circle. Yes ladies, we have a tendency to devalue our men’s worth in the household and outside the household. I know I have done it and it cost me a really great relationship. I was so gun-ho on being Mrs. Polly Provider that I forgot how to the woman that has her man’s back. Men are not only as good as they are trained; however they are only as good as the women standing next to them giving him praises and encouraging him. Sometimes I believe that men have more self-esteem issues than women. However those self-esteem issues translate themselves into affairs, drinking, drugs and abuse.

There are good men out here that will stand up. Sometimes women keep these men from wanting to stand up because we make them feel marginalized by own success. However, I always say that if I have a good man and I’m successful, then he’s successful as well. I’m not talking about in monetary or superficial possessions. What I’m talking about is being successful in self-love, self-appreciation and coming into relationships happy and not settling for junk. A man can tell when a woman settles for junk. Men can sniff out women that have low self-esteem or the ones that are unhappy. He will either run in the other direction or take advantage of that woman. However, when women can stand in love and beside her man or show that she is capable of being beside her man and letting him be all the MAN he is capable of being, he will STAND UP!