Update Update

Okay the past couple of months have been crazy and I know I haven't posted a damn thing. I've been busy chasing the poondawnnywanny (sike just jokes side eye). But no I have been attempting to nourish and non existing relationship based loosely off of sex and and bedside manner. Like they say you can't turn a jump off into a husband or house wife. Non the less aside from the shenanigans the summer has been pretty good. I opted not to do any lavish traveling since I'm still in recovery. More on that later. However, I do miss my eyebrow King Damone Roberts, check him out at www.damoneroberts.com and I'm over due for a much needed massage. Other than that life is just peachy.

More later.

Relationships and The Truth

I'm so sick of relationship books that tell women how to find a good man. It's not about finding a good man, it's about finding a good woman as you. Relationships are often easy to come by. It's the finding a good relationship that can be difficult. However, finding a good relationship starts with the woman within. It's not about that man and in some ways it should never be about him. Who cares about his needs, wants or desires. It begins with getting you right. I'll share more.

Keep your White Gay Privilege Agenda off the Backs and Shoulders of My Ancestors

When will people understand that equating the Black Civil Rights Movement to the Gay Movement/Agenda is like comparing someone snatching a rainbow sticker off a car versus having water houses or dogs turned someone because of the color of their skin? The two paradigms don’t match. How could one be so entitled to compare the Black Civil Rights Movement to the Gay Movement/Agenda? As an African-American woman that is part of the LGBT community it is a slap in the face to think that one would feel so entitled to so. This is the type of eliticism that makes me want to holla and throw my hands in the air. This type of entitiliscm makes me want to say: Keep your White gay privilege off the backs and shoulders of my ancestors.

The only time we count as individuals or a collective of people is during the time of Pride when the ballots/agendas are passed around and signatures are needed. No other dialogue is brought into the forefront outside of those times. Have White gays taken the time out to find out if marriage is a pressing agenda for Blacks or other individuals of color? Or is it to be assumed that because we are same gender loving that we ALL have the same agenda? This faux pas is ignorance at its best.

When Proposition 8 passed it was the fault of the black people. Every last Black person in the state of California voted yes for Proposition 8. Anyone of decent intelligence would know that’s a lie. However, where were those people when it came time to knock on the doors of the black community to start a dialogue? How many of those who cast blamed sat with a Black person to have an honest heart felt conservation about gay rights and how this not only affects whites but it crosses color lines and socio-economic Diaspora; and why we needed ALL Black folk to cast down Prop 8 during the heartfelt “…it’s just like the Civil Rights Movement” conversation which is totally spoken out of the true unawareness of pain. Where black gays courted as much during this fight or were we quickly rounded up just as filler? How inclusive was this movement? Not just the movement for Prop 8 but the movement with the rainbow crest of so many colors, but my color not included.

This is in no means a preach of a pity party, but to be honest in what I feel. By no means should any individual wait to be invited or feel that they must be treated with a gentle hand because, “this movement may be something that you can’t grasp.” However, to be honestly included and welcomed is a moment I’m yearning to treasure instead of being the Black woman that is patted on the head or treated as another number. We have a lot of ground to cover in the Gay Movement. No one wants to talk about racism. Because in the Gay world where everyday is sunny and the rainbow is always out, for some racism doesn’t exist. Or maybe racism is just wedge under that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and as long as the rainbow is out we don’t have to discuss it.

Will The Real Men Please Stand Up!

My grandmother once told me that a man is as only good as he is trained. My grandmother was absolutely right. However, I can take it a step further and say that a man is only as good as he is trained, but he must be trained until he can’t be trained no more. What that simply means that a man’s trainning doesn’t end when he becomes an adult and leaves the nest. His training continues when he enters a relationship that is healthy. I have come to the conclusion that most men are socially and developmentally delayed. When a young woman is reared, she receives the lessons quickly from birth to 18 years of age. She must maintain and actively puts those lessons to use until death (or at least some try to). I was listening to the radio this morning during the station’s relationship segment. The host dropped a statistic which didn’t surprise me, 75% of black women are single and there are 11,000 women to 1 man world wide. Great statistics if you are a guy looking for a wife, girlfriend or jump-off. Men that are aware of these statistics can either take advantage of it in a negative or positive way.

However, I believe that women who are having problems, issues or gripes about finding “trained” men crosses the racial and ethnic lines. I’m hearing complaints from white, Asian, Hispanic and African women who are tired of their lazy ass husbands or boyfriends that do nothing but drink drug and hoe around with other women. Now I’m only paraphrasing and repeating what I heard! And in unison they all say “What is the problem with these men of today? Well let me provide an answer based on experience. As men seem to be reverting back to a Neanderthal way of thinking (Now understand that men where put here to only help reproduce. It is only by nurture that they choose to marry or be monogamous. We are talking science here) women are evolving. Women are becoming more educated, career orientated, climbing the corporate ladder and bringing in bank. It was only a mere 40 years ago when the only careers women were allowed to do are secretarial, nurse, stewardess, teacher or mother. Although, some women are still in those career fields (and let me say that women have moved from being stewardess to Flight Attendants!) they are now battling amongst the men just as hard or harder.

With this evolution it seems that men can’t keep up. Now don’t get me wrong, there are many men out here that can keep up and also appreciates a hard working woman. But most of those men are gay! Most heterosexual men that have small penis issues are intimidated by a woman’s intelligence, career and bank roll. These men compensate by having extra martial affairs or just being plain stupid. However, there are some women who do use their “power” to intimidate men or make men feel useless. The worse thing a woman can do is not let her man be A MAN. Yes, did you only think I was only going to side for the women? I see things full circle. Yes ladies, we have a tendency to devalue our men’s worth in the household and outside the household. I know I have done it and it cost me a really great relationship. I was so gun-ho on being Mrs. Polly Provider that I forgot how to the woman that has her man’s back. Men are not only as good as they are trained; however they are only as good as the women standing next to them giving him praises and encouraging him. Sometimes I believe that men have more self-esteem issues than women. However those self-esteem issues translate themselves into affairs, drinking, drugs and abuse.

There are good men out here that will stand up. Sometimes women keep these men from wanting to stand up because we make them feel marginalized by own success. However, I always say that if I have a good man and I’m successful, then he’s successful as well. I’m not talking about in monetary or superficial possessions. What I’m talking about is being successful in self-love, self-appreciation and coming into relationships happy and not settling for junk. A man can tell when a woman settles for junk. Men can sniff out women that have low self-esteem or the ones that are unhappy. He will either run in the other direction or take advantage of that woman. However, when women can stand in love and beside her man or show that she is capable of being beside her man and letting him be all the MAN he is capable of being, he will STAND UP!

No title

I just wanted to stop by and say hi... I'll be posting some photos in a few days of Pride celebrations. Until then I'm getting this interview together and trying to stop coughing.


XO

Follow Me Tuesday!!

Whoop! Whoop! I got a follower. Big ups to Mandii Nichole!! Check Mandii out at http://robotsatemygrandmother.blogspot.com/ Yes I did put you on blast... The background on the blog is FIERCE!!

Are you into BDSM?

A friend and I were discussing BDSM (Bondage Domination Sadistic Masochism) and he asked me: Are you into D/S? I have many friends that are into the Poly Dom/Sub lifestyle. Although, I have been curious of what would make someone want to be a submissive/subserviant, this lifestyle has never peaked my interest enough to make me want to say yes I want to try this. Although, I know you can't knock what you what you have never tried, for me I would have to say no thank you. Not because I find it nasty or demeaning. I don't think I would find a partner that would really allow me to be the Hedonistic Sadist that I am. For those who don't know what Hedonistic Sadist means please peep the following definitions provided by my homie Merrian Webster:

Main Entry:
he·do·nism
Pronunciation:
\ˈhē-də-ˌni-zəm\
Function:
noun
Etymology:
Greek hēdonē pleasure; akin to Greek hēdys sweet — more at sweet
Date:
1856
1 : the doctrine that pleasure or happiness is the sole or chief good in life 2 : a way of life based on or suggesting the principles of hedonism
— he·do·nist \-nist\ noun
— he·do·nis·tic \ˌhē-də-ˈnis-tik\ adjective
— he·do·nis·ti·cal·ly \-ti-k(ə-)lē\ adverb

sa·dism
play_w2("S0014900")
(sdzm, sdz-)
n.
1. The deriving of sexual gratification or the tendency to derive sexual gratification from inflicting pain or emotional abuse on others.
2. The deriving of pleasure, or the tendency to derive pleasure, from cruelty.
3. Extreme cruelty.

So let me ease your mind. I'm not one to come into the bedroom swinging a baseball bat or being abusive to the point of bloodshed or emotional trauma. However, I do enjoy being dominate and having a mate that allows that side of me to creep out. I find this most difficult to accomplish with my "straight" male parterns because of their entertanlized homophobia and when I mention straps-ons they turn blue in the face and go on a "that's some gay shit" tyraid. They so don't get it that sexual pleasure is not a "gay" thing. My bi-sexual paramours appreciate that side in me and there's no question of what to except from our interaction.

Yet for me to be dominated is something I can't do mentally. It's not in my nature or personality to be dominated. I can try it for a hot minute or fake the funk. On some level there has to be a internal desire to overtly please your partner in every aspect as a sub, that desire is not in me because sometimes I don't give a rat's ass about please my partner. I'm being honest and real. Sometimes I'm a selfish chile and just can't help that.

Can You Learn To Love Ugly??

Ya’ll don’t judge me!! I have to get this off of my big chest. *sigh* I posted an ad on this site, which will remain anonymous for now; and I received a slew of responses because the girl is the word master and charmer. After reading a few of these responses and viewing oh so many dick photos (FYI: when responding to an ad please respond with words, only sending pictures of your dick will only garner a kiki or two but you will be deleted) I came across a really nice post. This gentleman and I exchanged a few lovely words and I mean what he wrote was beautiful. Of course being the visual creature that I am and realizing that we are a visual society I suggested that we exchange pictures. It’s only fair and I like to have a glimpse of the person behind the words.

So I sent my cute photo with my stunna smile and he sent me his……. *crickets* I know that I’m not the most beautiful creature in the world :0/, however in order for me to be into someone I have to find the person attractive to my eye. I know that beauty is from within and it’s about the heart and all of that other shit. However, when you walked down the street and the person you’re with now passed you or you saw them where ever you were, you didn’t meet or see their heart! You saw a phat ass, a nice dick bulge, good breast; a pretty face or whatever that physical feature was that attracted you. When they opened their mouth and after investing some time you felt their heart and spirit. I can’t stand when people say the first thing that attracted them to their mate was their heart. No bitch! You were attracted to their physical being.

Well, I’m looking at his photo and several things popped up for me. One being a voluptuous, big, full figured, fat, BBW or whatever it’s called, it doesn't prescribe me by default to be attracted to other large bodied people. When in fact I’m not and all of my mates have been smaller than me. Now some us full-bodied folk are fine and can carry the ass, breast and thighs real nice, but for me I like the opposite of myself. So I’m looking at this extremely close up photo with this man in glasses and he sort of reminded me of a brown version of Shrek *sigh*.

I was so not visually stimulated by this photo and yes I know it was only a photo. However, this experience begged me to ask the question: Can one learn to love ugly? Now I have some friends who have mates and they, themselves have stated that their mate isn’t all that in the looks department. Yet they keep them happy, take care of the homestead, love them dearly and can sling some hellafied dick. I don’t know… Maybe I’m too damn picky and my pickiness is keeping me from getting some good ass. Naaaaw!!!!!!

Don't Play Me!

You know I have a real huge problem when people try to play me for some type of fool. However, in my place of zen and trying to keep from snapping/quirking the hell out I try to find a lesson; even in bullshit. I try not to project my negative energy on anyone. Although, the path to not doing so is often difficult. However when I'm in a space that is not mentally safe I retreat. I do not blame other's for my actions; and I try not to fall to the bait of others who choose to project their shit onto me for whatever reason. So this morning I noticed a former co-worker on Facebook.

It has been over a year since we last hung out and talked. Being the person who is learning to connect I reached out to her. However, I should have known that was a no, no due to the her history and behavior for the untruth. My close friend became a victim of her untruths. Anyway, when I requested "friendship" this is the e-mail she sent me:


I have been okay. To be honest with you I was raped by that guy I took to his house that night. I was really drunk and I was blacking out. I really hope real friends would not have let me drive home like that or take a complete stranger into my car. I know it was not your fault but I am feeling a certain way abt it.Thanks,---------


When I read the first line I was like, whoa!! However, when I kept reading my whoa went to immediate disdain. How can someone harbor these emotions for over a year and now just bring it up? We had several conversations after the night. But quickly my disdain turned to pity with a tinge of sarcasm. I refused to navigate her issue. Being the person and feisty spirit I am, I had to respond. Although, I knew I had to be reserved in my response. Show concern for the alleged event and respond in a way to let her know that I hear you, but I'm not going to be put in a space for blame. With that I replied:

Oh my goodness -------, I am so sorry to read that he raped you. We were all drunk that night to the point that each of us needed a personal designated driver. I’m sorry to read that he violated you, especially since you were so kind enough to volunteer and give him a ride home after you found out that he didn’t live that far from you. I hope that he was/is punished to the fullest extent of the law and that you find peace and closure within yourself.
Best Regards, Me

I might not have responded in a way that she thinks I should have responded, however I made it an issue to respond and take responsibility for a response that I own and puts me in a safe place mentally. It has been several days since I've sent her my response; and of course she hasn't responded me back, which suits my just fine.

Be a freak with your mate!!

A few days ago my beauty sleep was aburptly disrupted by the annoying sound of my cell phone rigning at an ungodly hour. Anyone that knows me, knows that calling me before the sun is up is a no no. Without checking the caller ID I answered the phone with my best, "Who the fuck is this?" voice. On the other end I could hear heavy breathing; and I knew I wasn't in the mood for a bunch of fuckery. However, the heavy breathing registered as sobbing and I checked the caller ID and recongized my besti's number. Alarmed by her call I quickly woke up. After a brief assesment, I was happy to learn it wasn't a, I got my ass whiped or somebody died call.

She informed me that her man dumped her because she wasn't willing to please him. (At that point I put her on hold to pour myself a glass of wine. Yes it was only 5:15am and some change but I knew I needed a sip to get through this.) Trying to be sensitive I knew I had to take the bait so I asked her, "please him how?" She told me through snotty sighs that he broke up with her because she wouldn't let him perform anal sex, do cum shots or spank her. After hearing that I gulped my wine down in one big swallow and poured another glass. Because of her rejection of not sexually satisfying him, their six year relationship was over in a matter of a lack of a cum shot.

I do agree with him on one front, if you are a dead lay I will cut that ass losse. Yes, sex is very important in a relationship and at times there aren't any deal breakers. With that said I had to give her my assessment of the situaiton. After a few poor babies I had to lay out the truth. I simply told her to get over herself and her own insecurities. My saying has always been, "If you can't be a freak with your mate, who will you be a freak for?" As black women we have so many hang ups about our sexuality and own self-worth. However, in a relationship one is suppose to and should feel safe with their mate.

I don't think it was so much her going, "ewww that's gross" but I think what got him (and what most men will not admit) is the fact she rejected him as her intimate partner and he understood on some elementary level that she didn't feel safe enough to trust him. Upon further discovery, my besti informed me that this is someting he would like to do in the FUTURE, so damn she just cut him off at the pass! Like oh fuck no, I will not be doing that shit never ever never!! Men don't respond well when they are rejected before the horse is out of the gate. No pun intended!

However, women that do immediate sexual rejection need to be careful, because as one of my favorite commediens Mo'nique put it so eloquently, "What your woman won't do, a nasty bitch like me will!" So many men are leaving their relationships for the lady that knows how to the "nasty bitch". That sentiment resonated with me so strongly, because I'm that lady and when I got over myself, my bullshit and insecurities I learned the beauty of trusting my mate and they have assisted grealty in unleashing the nasty bitch within. Why? Because I am safe and trust my mate with my most precious gift of embracing my sexuality.

So I told her to talk to him. Let him know your fears. Stop being the big bad super woman and allow your man to be a man. Work through your shit and then work through it together. You just can't throw away six years. And by the way do something freaky one step at a time. Trust me they will appreciate the baby steps.

My Attraction To Gay Men

I will be the first to openly admitt that there is something sexy about the open, out and FIERCE gay/bisexual/?? man. I don't know exactly what it is, however I find these men absolutely refined and beautiful. I've always had this sexual attraction towards gay men, this may be due to the fact that I was in a relationship with a man who came out to me, however we remained comitted in our openly bisexual relationship, although he explained to me that he was more gay than bisexual. However, being a student of Pyschology and Sociology I understand that sexuality is on a specturm; but back then I certainly didn't understand the reasoning of "I'm more gay than bisexual".

As a woman who has been up and down the specturm of heterosexual, bi-curious, lesbian, back to heterosexual and now realizing that I'm a bisexual woman and can own it-I get the statement that my former boyfriend, now bestfriend spoke. I was one of those card carrying lesbians who hung onto to the idea that I must choose one or the other. FUCK that!! The point is, I'm a sexual being that finds pleasure not so much in the sex organs but in the esscence of the person. Some of my lesbians friends have clowned me and refered to me as a "fag hag" but I'm far from being a hag and I can atest to appreciating the beauty in all of God's creations.

There are times when I wish my fierceness could stand up with the best of these men who yield a, "I don't give a rat ass what you think of me" swagg. Maybe if most of my lesbian, bisexual and heterosexual sisters had this swagg attitude it would rid them of their low self-esteeme and self-loathing behavior. Yet that is another blog for another time. So below are some of the gay/bisexual/?? men that I find absolutely beautiful. Enjoy!!

The lovely Damone Roberts and owner of Damone Roberts salon of Beverly Hills, CA and New York. Damone is the eyebrow king and has the God given talent to transform your face in a 15 mintue brow scultpting session. I've had the pleasure of sitting in his chair a few times and he is the Eyebrow King check him out at http://www.damoneroberts.com/ and make an appointment!!

Dariel Pulliam the style guru and best friend of Neffie on Keyisha Cole the Way It is show. Get into his hair. This man is FIERCE with a captial GAWT DAMN!! I'm hoping he will get into loc styling. I would love to sit in his chair. Check him out http://www.myspace.com/sexydiego

Dwight Eubans the actual break out star of the Bravo's The Real Housewives of Atlanta, fashionisto and owner of the Purple Door Salon in Atlanta Georgia's Buckhead area. I love this brother and his tell it like it is attidtude. Dwight is one of those men who will pull you up by the collar and tell you that you look like a hot mess and what he will do to fix it. Check his site out http://purpledoorsalon.com/ and be on the lookout for his new televsion show on Bravo!!

VA Beach and non damn bliss

As I mentioned briefly in my last post I would come back for a follow up to my trip to VA Beach and finding Spahffic Bliss. However, this trip for me wasn’t about either one. I know I’m confusing things, however allow me to explain. I met a young lady a few days ago; and after a few telephone conversations and doing the dance of exchanging pictures, she invited me to go with to Virginia Beach. My initial gut reaction was, “I don’t want to go”. Usually I’m psyched about getting out of the city to see some water and sand (not that we don’t have enough, well water at least), however it was going to be a hot weekend and ignoring my gut I went with it. In the days to come I wasn’t excited about the trip. Since the young lady that invited me didn’t have a car I knew that I would have to pull the almost three hour trip behind the wheel by myself. So you know I was a little sour about that one. Not wanting to send out any negative vibes, I swallowed a get happy pill and kept things moving.

I knew I had to get a lot accomplish before the mini get-away so on the eve of the trip I spent time cleaning my room, finishing putting together a dresser I purchased from IKEA which sat in my room for two weeks half assembled, washed clothes and entertaining the young lady on the phone that I previously informed that I had MUCH to do before we left on Friday afternoon. After a short conversation and ignoring her text messages, I finished the dresser and my other chores. When Friday rolled around I was functioning off of 5 hours of sleep. I knew this was crazy as I was well aware of the journey ahead. I’m already quiet by nature and without my required 7 to 8 hours I can be damn near ghost and not cordial. Again I had to perk my ass up because I didn’t want to come off being one.

Once I was done washing the car, running to the bank, scooting to my mom’s job and grabbing a quick bite I headed to DC to pick up the young lady. We finally meet face to face body to body. During the drive which seemed endless there was non stop talking mostly done by my travel buddy, I wanted to keep the driving moving so I interjected a couple of head nods, mmmhmmms, ohs and yeah yeah. This was going to be a long ass weekend. We arrived at the very nice Crowne Royal Plaza which located in the middle of “everything that is nothing”. The hotel is aptly decked out with it art deco décor, perfect feng shui and huge marble counters with a marble fountain holding large colorful fish. I was happy to see that she requested two double beds. She informed me that she didn’t want to be presumptuous and I thought to myself, “good idea”. The first day was shot as we spent hours in the mall because she didn’t like her wardrobe so to award me for my patience she treated me to dinner and a movie. During the movie she made constant commentary. No, no number 1 on my list: Do not talk to me during a movie, just because you paid doesn’t mean I want to hear you. I don’t pay or be treated to hear you talk. You’re not the one on the damn screen. So let’s just say I was irritated.

On the way back to the hotel she said, “You don’t talk much.” And my response was, “We were in a movie theater.” Enough said. When we arrived back to the hotel I was ready for bed. She asked me if I was good at giving massages and I thought to myself, “Oh here we come with this bull shit.” I responded with a quick, “I do well for an amateur.” So in ten minutes I was giving a massage I didn’t want or feel like giving and if anyone should have been having their legs, back and ass rubbed it should have been me. Yet it is tacky to ask for massage, massages are better when the person giving says, “Baby let me give you a massage.” That’s when you know they are going to enjoy giving you a massage and the shit doesn’t seem like work. The next day we ventured through town doing much of the same as Friday. That evening her “House” was throwing an event at Nutty Buddys, Norfolk Virginia’s most popular gay club. I’m glad we didn’t stay long because I wasn’t used to being in smoke filled clubs and my drink of Jack and Ginger was watered down to the floor. I spent most of the evening struggling to breathe through one nostril! She made plans for us to go to church, however I was glad those plans didn’t come through because I wanted to get on the road as soon as possible and end this trip. I know I sound like a selfish as child but sometimes my OCS (Only Child Syndrome) kicks in and I can get into the “get out of my space and stop talking to me moments.” Shit I’m human!

I’m going to tell you honey, I didn’t know Ms. Hyundai good push the way she was pushing. Once we hit 95 baby was like, “awww shieeet let’s go!” and that is what we did. I know I was doing at least 100 if not more. I was so happy when we hit 395 north I didn’t know what the hell to do. Within minutes I dropped the young lady off. She eluded that she didn’t want to go in the house and asked me what I was going to do. I told her I needed to make one more stop and then I was heading in. After a quick and I mean quick good bye I headed to my sanctuary to my relief, Malcolm X Park to decompress and release.

I will say that I learned a lot about myself and what I like in an individual, what I’m willing to put up and what I like and need to work on within myself. It has been four days since I’ve spoken to the young lady, outside of a couple of text messages I haven’t nor has she made an effort to talk. However, being the adult I know that I will need to make the first move… What the hell I will say I don’t know. I’ll just let it flow naturally and speak my truth.

A trip to the mundane-Virgina Beach

Hello all!! Glad to see you. I know it's been a few and I only have two post so I will post a brief one for early today and come back later this evening for a more indepth posting. So I spent this past weekend in VA Beach/Norfolk with an associate (something I don't normally do so I know I messed all of DC's good things like the parties, cookouts and so on and so forth. Right now I'm not going to get into rethinking the weekend because the shit is making me depressed). Yet I digress. Anyway I spent the weekend in VA Beach to find it grossly boring.

However, while doing some ear-hustling most of the conversations being spoken from the academic inclined were accolades of Washington, DC and how “I can’t wait for the semester to be over, I’m heading to DC!”, wow even in beach town during the first few hot days of spring people want to get out dodge from a place where I was informed outside of the beach, going out to eat and to the movies; there is nothing else to do. WOW!!

In Search of Saphhic Bliss

It has been a long time since I ventured into the Sapphic bliss of relationship heaven. Amidst with its ups and downs, I still relish in the enjoyment of being in love and thrust into the whirlwind of intimacy and great sex. Although, I like my singlehood I totally dislike the fact that my bed is cold and lonely. The only other inhabitants of this sacred restful space are my two teddy bears that stare at me mockingly with their dark little beady eyes. Many of my coupled up co-habituating friends in loving relationships (smirk) tell me that I should enjoy this moment, “You’re young go have fun and enjoy yourself!” However, I’m getting older. No one told me that once you hit 30 the years will fly by before you can ask: who, what, where, when and why. So now I’m sitting here asking the perplexing question, where do I start?

I’m a strong believer in putting myself out there and allowing my positive energy to radiate and flow its way through the doldrums of dating and doing the “dance”, a dance in which there are too many damn steps. Some steps have led me back to the club/bar scene (yuck), attending various community LGBT meetings with the hope of meeting like minds and venturing into cyberspace posting ads and wading through the ads and responses of those looking to get turned out, copious titty play and women looking for the third wheel in their “heterosexual” relationships. Oh not to mention the ads where some women have so many damn preferences and perquisites for a mate other than breathing, attractive and single, that it makes me wish I can find a way to market a “Build A Lesbian” workshop!

Often times I have to check myself and do a self-evaluation of me. Am I approachable? What does my body language say? I have often been told that I “look” mean or stand-offish. When the fact is I’m terrible shy and once the wall is down I’m a hoot to be around and a great friend. However, I believe that being perceived as standoffish may have to do in fact of living in such a transient city and the fact that we East Coasters residing in DC and above, are a bit rough around the edges unlike our free-flowing West Coast counterparts. Outside of my shyness, I know that I’m a great catch. I’m very attractive, intelligent and pleasant to be around. And my drama is minimal enough to fit into a small clutch purse. Although, I have experienced a few bumps on the financial and educational road and I can become complacent at times, I know will make a great mate. So with that said how come others don’t see that in me? Or are we so caught up in our own stuff that we often miss a great thing when it walks by or smiles at us?

Hello to all my fellow bloggers!!

I'm so excited to become another voice in the community of blogging. There are so many wonderful blogs and bloggers out there. Some may ask, why would one waste their time blogging or sharing the nuances of their life with people they don't know or may never meet? Well we all have perspectives of life that are different, however we share common themes in the journey of life. And like those people I want to share my journey. I look forward to this new beginning and will be blogging soon on my first topic.